PD and me

So this is how my PD behaves.

Like an ambivalent friend or lover, it is unpredictable, unreliable and manipulative. Some days I cannot finish cooking dinner, standing at the sink or stove for more than a few minutes brings on excruciating back pain. And, sometimes, for an entire day or for only an hour, I feel as though I've run a marathon and "hit the wall". When that happens I am sometimes so exhausted that I feel as though the effort of pressing the gas pedal in the car during the drive home from work is an impossibility. One day I had to call my son to pick me up, I had gone for a walk and couldn't make it the last block to my front door. I sat down in the road to wait for him and cried. I had only walked to the post office, 3 blocks away.

And then there are days like today. The sun is shining on the remains of a record breaking snowfall and it is relatively warm at 45 degrees or so as I head out the front door for a walk. I remember to pocket my cell phone and let my son (different son) know that I might need him to come after me with the car. He laughs as though I've made a joke, but what he doesn't realize is that I wouldn't go for a walk without a backup plan. Today I don't need him, in fact my step is light and my arm swings freely (when I remind it to) and I even jog for short stretches of the route. I listen to Prairie Home Companion on my mp3 player and then a mix of my favorite tunes and by the time I round the last corner I'm practically dancing in the street to Aretha Franklin. Go figure! But, that's how my PD behaves and I don't like it but I've come to expect it. It helps, I've discovered the hard way, to take my medications absolutely on time or a bit early if I feel I'm in danger of forgetting altogether if I wait. I resisted hard and long taking L dopa until I felt that I couldn't wait any longer, walking into the office from the parking lot was difficult and I was getting a lot of questions about why I was limping, etc. I was in pain all the time. I am taking Stalevo now, with a little bit of Mirapex too, and I do feel much better. IF I take the doses on time, if I don't I will suffer.